Catching up

So I haven’t written in awhile because exams have been taking up my life, but I am writing to you now to say that I am officially done with my undergrad program in Psychology and will be graduating this weekend!

Everything that has happened in my life has brought me to this point (which I honestly never thought that I would get to). In just a few short weeks, I will be holding my baby boy in my arms and I couldn’t feel greater than this. It’s like my life is at an all time high even though a few months ago I thought it was over. I couldn’t go on to play professional soccer, or move to Greece, or work my dream job- but all of that is just on hold.

My mom and grandparents will be up this weekend and I’m so excited to see them. Family is always good for my soul.

Then I have a 16 hour car ride back home to Canada, give or take how many pee breaks I have to take throughout and then it’s time to start my summer! First order of business is to get Leo’s stuff set up for when he arrives. I plan on panting and getting his crib set up asap so that I can just get it over with and focus on other things. I will be working until he is born for my mom all summer so I can save up money to spoil my little man.

Let me tell you something, being 30 weeks pregnant is NOT fun. I’m always hot, I can’t bend over to tie my shoes anymore, sleeping has become the worlds most hardest task and eating frequently has been a necessity- let alone all the anxiousness I’ve been having for him to arrive.

It’s an amazing thing to feel him getting stronger and stronger in my womb with all his kicks and turns. The other day we had a moment where his hand was firmly pressed up against my tummy and I felt as if I was holding his hand. I could only sit there completely still and smile. It was perfect. Moments like those are the ones that make me excited to be a mommy to such a precious little boy I know he will be.

On June 12th I’ll be participating in a fashion show in a maternity line and I’m very nervous. I can barely walk to class let alone walk down a catwalk in front of a bunch of people! Pray for me! LOL

I’ll be starting to write more now that exams are over and I have much more free time so keep updated with the last little bit of my pregnancy! #10weekstogo

Mocktails for Mommies

If you are like me, you think of summers as living pool side with a drink in your hand enjoying the warmth on your skin.

It’s true, for some mamas summer marks the beginning of cocktail season. But what about our pregnant and breastfeeding sisters? Are we really going to ask you to reach for yet another glass of water, when so many others are sipping beautiful and refreshing drinks? No. Way. You can bet your baby bump there are better options out there when you’re in the mood to sip.

Since summer is right around the corner, grab your glasses and enjoy some of these delicious mocktails!

The Meg Ryan: A Bright & Bubbly Blended Berry Drink

Yields: 1 drink

1 cup berries (whatever is in season)

1 tsp lemon juice

2 tbsp honey

1 cup soda water

“Add berries, lemon juice and honey to a blender and combine until smooth. Add soda water and pulse until combined. If using frozen berries, you may add ingredients all at once, but you might need to add a dash of soda water at the end to bubble things back up to our tongue-tingling standards.”

More Mocktails here!

Bottoms up mamas. Remember to stay hydrated this summer!

My open letter to you, mother of an unplanned pregnancy

Many women have stood in line at a drugstore holding a pregnancy test, whether for a friend or a “friend.” It doesn’t matter who is peeing on that thing, if a pregnancy test is being purchased then there’s palpable panic in the air.

I was 21 when my stick turned positive. Instantly positive. If that’s ever happened to you — if you ever stared at the bathroom floor with a pulsing surge of anxiety and impatience, waiting for your sentencing via urine-soaked plastic, and you saw a POSITIVE verdict — then just thinking about that moment can give you flashback feelings. You can go right back to that moment when your stomach dropped to your ankles and nothing in life made sense. To that next morning (and the next 30 or 40 after that) when the realization washed over you like a riptide, once again: “It wasn’t a dream. I really am pregnant.”

THAT feeling. I can’t find a word for that particular cocktail of emotions, but let’s just call it terrible. Terrible and scary.

I wish I knew then what I knew now but here are my thoughts on unplanned pregnancy..

1. You’re not alone.

According to the Guttmacher Institute, more than half of American women will have an unintended pregnancy by age 45 (no, unplanned pregnancies don’t just happen to teenagers) and 3 in 10 will have had an abortion. When you take that statistic away from a black-and-white pie chart and into real life, that’s a lot of women who know the unique pain and heartache you’re feeling.

2. No one can tell you what to do next.

People will, of course, but NO ONE can tell you how having or not having this child will affect your life. No amount of Googling can predict your future. But if you can cut through the noise in your head and in your ears, you probably already know what you want to do.

3. It’s okay to be scared.

If you weren’t scared in this particular situation, you wouldn’t be human. I don’t care if you’re 21 or 31 or 41, an unplanned pregnancy is a massive, scary jolt.

It’s also okay to be angry or deeply sad — whether you’re mourning a baby-that-could-have-been, or mourning a vision of your life that you have to let go of. Whatever you’re feeling, it’s okay to feel that. If you don’t allow yourself to feel those emotions fully, they’ll eat you alive.

4. Just because something is hard or scary, doesn’t mean it’s bad.

We have a way of judging things based on how they feel in the moment, but that’s not how life works. If you’ve ever had a devastating life turn that led to an amazing opportunity, you know what I mean.

Not every woman feels enchantment during pregnancy. Not every woman immediately bonds with her fetus or baby. These things can take time, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

5. It’s really important to have a support system.

A support system can be built — it can be virtual, even — but it’ll be a key factor in moving forward. And if you’re reading this because your daughter or friend is unexpectedly pregnant, know that your support means everything in her being successful and happy, no matter what she decides.

6. Fear and anger are bad decision-making tools.

Calm down and think clearly before you make this kind of decision. Our emotions are real and okay, but they can cloud our thinking. What’s the motivation behind your choice? Is it LOVE or FEAR?

7. You don’t need as much as you think.

We’re programmed to think that there’s some imaginary checklist to complete before having a baby — we need a certain amount of money, a certain amount of career advancement, a certain type of stroller. But the truth is, you don’t need as much as society claims you do. You’ll never feel 100% ready.

8. You are not a statistic.

It’s normal to feel shame, embarrassment, even disappointment in yourself. But the truth is, you are so much more than a statistic. You aren’t bound to a stereotype now, no matter what you hear on the news or around the holiday dinner table. Having an unplanned pregnancy doesn’t make you “stupid” or “slutty” or “irresponsible.” Maybe you used protection, or maybe it was a heat-of-the-moment mistake. It’s okay. This does not define you.

9. Your life isn’t over.

The only way your life will be over is if you believe that it already is.

10. No matter what you decide, you will be okay.

You will be happy and grateful and overwhelmed — that’s life, no matter what you decide. You will be okay. Just make sure that your decision is for you and your partner, not to please or conform to an ideal or standard.

Things I learned from being the first of my friends to get pregnant

I had heard stories about the prolonged length of time it can take to get pregnant but for me, it all happened so fast. I was suddenly acutely aware that I was alone in this pregnancy (none of my friends have kids) and so I questioned whether I’d be able to navigate the unknown. Suffice it to say, there have been some surprises along the way. Here are the things I learned from being the first of my friends to get pregnant.

Friends Become Family… When I first found out I was pregnant, my initial thought was that my friends were all going to ditch me. It’s not to say that we lead vastly different lifestyles. The first thing I asked them after telling them about the baby was if we would still be friends, only half joking. They not only assured me that they would, but were incredibly excited when I told them. My best friend even cried tears of joy. Those girlfriends who saw me through breakups and all night dance parties were all of a sudden now “aunts” to my future son.

Resourcefulness Has No Bounds… With no friends to lead by example, I’ve had to be resourceful in finding information on pregnancy and birth. In a sense, it’s been freeing because I am not being bombarded with unwarranted opinions and advice, and instead can seek out the information I’m specifically after.

Ordinary Days Feel Like Date Night…Even if it’s reheating leftovers to eat in front of the TV watching hours and hours of Dexter, I’ve come to savor the truth of our everyday lives. Before, I’d be itching to go out for drinks on a Saturday night, but these days I find immeasurable joy parking myself on the couch watching Rediculousness with my fur-baby.

You Will Feel Lonely at Times…It would be nice to join the happy hour with my girls, but I have to listen to my body when it tells me to stay home and rest. I wasn’t surprised about being tired all of the time, but I also wasn’t prepared for the loneliness that came with it (not by any fault of my friends I’ll add). It can be isolating to go through a huge life change before other people in your group do. In that vein, it’s also okay to tell your friends that you feel left out. The good ones will plan a night for you alcohol-free and just relax.

Suddenly I Want to Be a Kid Again…Part of it may be because I’m the first of my friends to be pregnant that I suddenly want to be a carefree kid again. Having this massive responsibility on the horizon makes me want to rewind time and savor in a moment when everyone was kind of doing the same thing. At 10, everyone was in soccer together. At 19, everyone was running through the bar circuit. Now that I’m 22 and finishing college, people are veering off into different places in their lives, which makes me crave the predictability of years past. Luckily, I’ll have my son to hold in a matter of weeks and I can’t wait!

Baby Shower fun!

Last weekend, my friends threw me a baby shower for my little boy and I couldn’t be more thankful! All of my friends were there celebrating this milestone in my life and it was perfect. Leo definitely got spoiled!

Thank you so much to all my friends that came!

How To: Daddy Duty

It’s quite common that men aren’t as excited as the woman for a newborn to arrive especially if the two or you aren’t married. Men always have so many questions but don’t want to ask them because they are afraid of what the answer may be. They keep to themselves and ponder how they are even capable of raising one of their own when they can’t even take care of themselves.

This article on the Pregnancy Corner explains what questions new dads ask and how to handle it..

Here are just a few examples of questions that run through a soon-to-be-father’s head.

Can I share my partner with someone else—even a baby?
Will I love (or even like) the baby?
Will I know how to raise a child?
Do I really want to go through with this?
Does fatherhood mean I can’t have fun anymore?
What if my baby daughter grows up and has to deal with teenage boys who act like I did as a kid?
Can I be certain that this is my child?
Do I have or can I make enough money to afford a family?
Will I break the baby?
Will I get sick and pass out in the delivery room?

These questions are all normal. Some may deserve more attention or rumination than others, but don’t be alarmed if these questions enter your head. When they do, give them thoughtful consideration, and talk things through with a friend, family member, a specialist or your significant other. You can also participate in online forums or read books, such as Kelly’s Idiot Guide, which enable to you deal with these concerns and thoughts in a beneficial way.

Traveling while preggers?

Whether you’re visiting family, taking a vacation or jetting off to a work conference, traveling while pregnant shouldn’t be taken lightly. First off, make sure you get the green light from your doctor. During your first trimester, you might be dealing with morning sickness (like I did), extreme sleepiness and a slew of other fun hormonal side effects. Nearing the end of your pregnancy, you’ll want to avoid sitting on your ass for long periods or putting unnecessary pressure on your back. Traveling during the third trimester isn’t recommended for health reasons and for logistics like, what if you went into labor?! There are few things you can do to make sure traveling is as breezy as possible.

By land: If you’re in the car, you have the opportunity to adjust the timing of your pit stops to accommodate your squished bladder and swelling feet. Give yourself enough time to stretch your legs and move around.

Make it easier: Recline the seat and add a rolled towel or blanket behind your lower back. You can also kick your feet up to reduce the swelling. Be sure to wear your seatbelt properly with both the lap and chest straps in place. You can also move the rolled towel under your tailbone. Stop at least every three hours to stretch and walk around.

By air: Airline seats were not made for the comfort of pregnant women, let’s face it. Expect narrow seats and aisles. Most airlines will not allow passengers past 36 weeks gestation to fly anyways. The ideal period according to doctors is between 14 and 28 weeks.

Make it easier: If you can book an aisle seat, that would be ideal. You can get up easily and move to stretch your legs. Bring plenty of snacks, like apples, nuts, a sandwich, and avoid any gas-producing foods like beans and dark greens. Have water on hand to stay hydrated, something that’s often not thought of when traveling. If you have to book a layover, give yourself between 90 minutes and three hours to assure you don’t need to awkwardly sprint or penguin wobble to your next gate in case of a delay and so that you have time to stand, stretch, move, rehydrate and refuel.

Take it easy. You’re going to experience fatigue more than usual and your body doesn’t really have a comfortable position.. EVER. If you’re traveling alone, take plenty of breaks and expect the travel to take longer than it would with the non-pregnant you. It’s OK! If you have a traveling companion, make sure they’re supporting your breaks and understanding what it is you need. Most people aren’t mind readers, so communicate with them as best you can. Finally, if you really don’t need to travel, just Skype with loved ones or Skype into your work meeting. Your health and baby are your priority now.

Beat The Heat- Pregnancy Edition

Every morning before I roll out of bed, it’s become habit to inspect the weather channel and since I’m in the Midwest, who knows what it’s going to be like that day.

This morning however, I knew it was supposed to be extremely warm today for being mid March, so of course I was going to wear a maxi dress and flip flops because being pregnant in the heat is a STRUGGLE. For all you pregnant ladies, you know what I mean.

In December when I was at home, I was at the mall in just a sweater, leggings and my winter jacket, buying bras that fit, and ended up passing out mid-purchase because I was so warm. This was only when I was 9 weeks pregnant I knew that I never wanted that embarrassment again. So today, at 80 degrees (yes, that’s considered hot for us Canadians), when my best friend and I decided it would be a good day to walk around the zoo, I knew that I had to prepare. So far I’ve learned to BRING A WATER BOTTLE, WEAR SUNSCREEN (because your skin is more sensitive than before), EAT BEFORE LEAVING THE HOUSE AND WEAR AS LESS CLOTHES AS POSSIBLE!

I realize that I still have a long way to go and it’s only going to get hotter, so I’ve purchased lots of dresses that I’m able to wear to keep my growing heat box as cool as possible.

People always say that pregnancy during the summer makes it for one hot summer, but you just have to know yourself and what you need to survive (like any situation you’re put in).

I also suggest that you buy yourself a good pair of shoes because usually my athletic feet can handle a walk around the zoo in some flip flops, but by the end my best friend was telling me that my toes looked like “little sausages”. My feet were out of commission.

These blogs have become my best friends when it comes to finding out what works for them during summer pregnancy:

http://www.popsugar.com/moms/Summer-Pregnancy-Survival-Tips-3178027#photo-9094646
http://kirstenoliphant.com/2014/06/16/summer-pregnancy-hacks/

Prepare for the summer heat mama’s! It’s going to be a hot one.

Human Nature

It’s been a habit of mine to react to every single thing that has come my way, whether it was something that was said or done. Sort of like a defence mechanism- protecting myself from everything and anything.

I didn’t want to seem like too much or too little of something so I felt like I always had to prove something to people and even myself to ensure that I was still at the top. But I have quickly learned that’s not always the case.

“Every situation doesn’t always need a reaction” so I’ve been told.

That has been something that’s been constantly on my mind during the time I’ve been pregnant because I’ve been trying to transform my younger high school/college brain into things that I want my child to grow up learning. Your child is a mirror image of who you are and what you believe in and that is something that I firmly believe in. They look up to you, grow from you, and feed off your thoughts and energy.

Lately, I’ve been feeling like I’ve had to respond to everything that has come my way because that’s what comes with going to a small school and being pregnant. Everyone always has something to say.

The father of my child is still trying to find his way through this too, so we often argue about the little things that make up the whole process and of course, me having mommy-brain already, I feel ahead of that game.

It’s been a constant struggle between what I want to come out of this and what is the right thing to do during this time. Back to my quote about every situation doesn’t always need a reaction- every time there’s an argument, I have taken my thoughts and places them in a peaceful and calmer place, realizing that eventually, everything will work itself out to what it’s supposed to be.

Taking the time to clear your thoughts and frustrations is something that as a mom, you are going to have to learn to do. Like I said, I’ve come to realize that no matter how good of a person you are or what you’ve been through, people will always judge you and have something to say to or about you so take your life into your own hands and save the energy from a reaction. Your kids are going to love you because you are their protector and you are going to love them because they are a blessing and that’s all that’s going to matter.

Take a walk.
Write.
Breath.
Do stretches.
Take a nap.

Tell me things that you do to redirect your thoughts!

Happy Spring break, mommies & daddies.